CHAPTER ONE
BACKGROUND TO THE STUDY
Introduction
Every tribe has distinctly different ways of life. The cultural differences reflect in all aspects of human endeavours. Just as there exists different tongues, so are there different cultures and traditions. Marriage as an integral expression of societal values is a design put in place to uphold a people’s belief and custom.1 The traditional institution sets guidelines that guides in the process of contracting marital agreement according to customs and tradition of the people. We shall now x-ray the pre-condition for marriage in Benin culture.2
Marriage is a legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring (if any). The universality of marriage within different societies and cultures is attributed to the many basic social and personal functions for which it provides structure, such as sexual gratification and regulation, division of labour between the sexes, economic production and consumption, and satisfaction of personal needs for affection, status, and companionship. Perhaps its strongest function concerns procreation, the care of children and their education and socialization, and regulation of lines of descent. Through the ages, marriages have taken a great number of forms which are exchange marriage; group marriage; polyandry; polygamy; tree marriage. See also common-law marriage.
To this end, from a Christian perspective, the Holy Bible proffers that when God created the world, He first created a man called Adam, and seeing that Adam would need companionship, God created a woman called Eve to be Adam’s wife. From thence on, the concept of marriage between a man and a woman was born. However, God made man the head of the family and the wife or woman as his helper, and God blessed them, and commanded them to go forth and multiply. Therefore, there is no leadership contest between the husband and the wife. God made the pronouncement that the man is the head and leader of the family.9
In some periods, traditional rulers, religious leaders, parents etc acted crucially in betrothing children to husbands. “In the 16th to 18th century, marriage during this period were arranged, not by the two people getting married, but by their parents and relatives, and this happens especially among the upper class, simply because marriage makes the family’s network stronger or it was used as a means on concluding a peaceful agreement.10 As with many African countries, the Benin culture constitutes a number of different tribes. Naturally, wedding customs in Benin and traditional marriage practices will, and does vary from tribe to tribe, and culture to culture. Both monogamous as well as polygamous marriages are seen in the Benin culture. Among Benin people, girls are traditionally betrothed at birth, to young boys.11 As the girl approached puberty and the boy matured, his family then began to send gifts to her family. The two fathers would jointly arrange a formal day for the betrothal ceremony of their children. On the day of the betrothal, traditional gifts which include palm wine, kolanuts and coconuts would be given by the groom to the bride’s family. By tradition, the groom-to-be was required to work for his future in-laws and give them yams, periodically.12
In Benin culture and tradition, marriage rites are held in very high esteem. According to Benin tradition, the family is the bedrock of any community, hence the norms and values imbibed at the family level go a long way in the success or failure of the entire community. Marriage is seen as the starting point for the formation of this all-important bedrock. As a result of the importance of the marriage institution, deliberate steps are taken to lay a solid foundation for it. One of which is to avoid giving unspoken support to relationships between a man and woman of marriageable age. “At birth a baby is unaware of its environment until sometime later. In death a child is thought to be unaware of the happenings at his or her burial. But at weddings, he or she is an active participant. These are facts with all peoples as they are facts in Edo land.13
An important duty of Benin parents is to find a wife or a husband for their children, because it is not easy to choose a partner, with whom a child will live and share the ups and downs of life. Once married the couple will rear their offspring and be good examples to them. As it is in most parts of the world, marriage in Benin is in stages. There is the time for the man and the woman to build up a relationship, the time for both families to come together for betrothal and the time for the wedding. Social custom based on economic class, nationality, group or religious beliefs, tend to influence the choice of a husband or wife in Edo land.14 For example, parents want their children to choose partners from their own ethnic groups, because they believe that marriages between such partners would be more compatible. The family of a young boy may seek to demonstrate to the family of a girl-child of another family, that it wants their son to have the girl as a wife, when she attains the right age. That family would have found that the girl-child is from a good home, with the advantages of good character; health and high social and economic class The family (usually that of the male) would give presents in cash and in kind to the girl ‘s family from time to time until the girl attains the age. To many, this is the way the Edo woo girls for marriage at the right time, the family will tell their son and he would contribute his service or cash for the girl’s development.15 Both families watch the children grow, and will actively mould them to be of good behaviour and to develop the discipline that will help them in a life-partnership of marriage.16
On the other hand, a child can make his or her own choice and present the girl or the boy to the parents. “As is the practice of the people, the parents will make their own inquiry to be sure that the choice will be suitable. If the parents confirm the choice, the family of the male will exert greater effort to make the union happen.17 They will show more goodwill towards the girl’s family visit more often and give presents in cash and in kind.” As is usual in many cultures, the period for the boy and the girl to know each other and for the decision to wed, constitute the period of courtship. There is no limit to the time that courtship may take. In the case of a girl-child, it takes many years before she is ready to wed.18
The effort to strengthen the friendship between the families must continue with both sides exchanging visits. The flow of gifts to the girl will assure her family of the suitor’s resolve and of his means, Preparation for the wedding also imposes a period of waiting and that means an even longer courtship. That gives the parties concerned still longer time to examine their relationship and for more people to have an input as necessary. Having made the choice of a partner, the next stage is to wed that, in Edo custom, is what the relationship between a man and a woman is really about. At the ceremony, the couple will receive blessing from both families and friends.19 Each is advised on the duties of the wife and of the husband; on child bearing and childcare; on cooking and on sharing of all cares in the home. A wedding is among the most popular of all Edo celebrations. The procedure is simple. There is the betrothal and then the wedding. The wedded wife moves later to join the groom in their new home. And that will bring the Ceremony to an end. In Edo land, this custom of has existed for a long time and it is accepted in court throughout the country.20
Weddings may take place in the evenings any day of the Edo four-day week, except on “Eken.” Weddings are largely a family affair, but the rich have sometimes turned it into a carnival. And that has tended to alter the character and the content of the ceremonies. Weddings are preceded by the presentation of gifts from the groom to the bride and her family. The ceremony takes place in the home of the bride’s father except when he is deceased.21 In that case, the venue will be the home chosen by the bride and her family. Most people love palm-wine and it is a favourite at Edo weddings. Kola nut is special because it symbolizes friendship and goodwill. Without it, the Edo cannot in normal circumstances, accept that a wedding has taken place.22
The Benin people value their children, male or female, this is why unlike some cultures; the brideprice is very low. The payment of bride price is vital to the conclusion of marriage notable under Benin native law, which like any other customary law marriage in Nigeria; it is recognized under the Marriage Act. The impression being that Benin people do not sell their daughters in marriage, the requested amount for bride price is usually meagre; N24 (representing 24 cowries or British pounds used in the pre-colonial and colonial days).23 A huge sum is usually presented these days, from which the prominent members of the bride’s family would remove a small amount and refund the balance to the groom for his wife, their daughter’s up keeping. A calculated message to the groom that she is still considered a family daughter even though she is married, hence the tradition that at death, the corpse of Benin woman is returned to her family to be buried with her ancestors.24
Marriage is seen as a compulsory phase for every man and woman in Ehor because a every man and woman being single at a ripe is frowned at especially the women; being married uplifted the status of women in pre-colonial societies. In the community, amongst the people of Ehor marriage was contracted in accordance with the native law and customs, there were initially four ways by which a man could get married to a woman in pre-colonial Ehor; Bethrothal, Dowry, Pawning, and Inheritance but only three of these systems survived; Betrothal, Dowry and Inheritance5.It is against this backdrop that this study seeks to analyze marriage institute in Ehor viz-a-viz the changes and norms with the advent of Christianity.28
Aim and Objectives of the Study
The major aim of this study is to examine the nature of traditional marriages in Benin before the advent of Christianity and the present period. It seeks to compare and contrast the differences between Pre-Christianity Benin traditional marriages and present day Benin traditional marriages. We shall also examine the changes and the norms in this marriage institution, with the introduction of Christianity into Africa, but with Benin as our major focus. Hence, the objectives include, but not limited to the following:
I. To elucidate the nature of the Benin traditional marriages.
2. To compare and contrast the trends between the pre-colonial Benin and the modern day Benin concerning Benin traditional marriages.
3. To examine the impact of Christianity on the Benin marriage institution.